Hey, I have new apartment pictures, finally! While I was transferring the pictures over from my camera, I decided to take an hour or two and create a small slideshow script for to present them, with the consideration that I could use it for future sets of pictures, in addition to my singles in the still life section.

So go have a look! I also added one picture into the still life gallery, conveniently right on to

Someone seems to have changed the time on our web server....so my posts are showing up with dates from 6 days ago, and 6 hours early. Nice.

I've been doing a lot of driving in the last couple weeks with my move and all, and a few things have sort of struck me.

First of all, when near a city, it seems that every other car with a single passenger in it, has a cell phone lifted up to his or her ear. Now, I can understand and agree with the convenience of the cell phone. But sometimes I have to wonder about the frequency that people use it. Personally, I am a firm believer in conditioning, such as the whole Pavlovoan dog experiments and the like. And my newest theory is that people were giddy about their new phones at first, years ago. Pretty soon, whenever these people get into a car, they have an urge to talk on the phone, like a habit. Sort of like how you get hungry at certain parts of the day. For instance in school, when 5 bells go off in the day, I got hungry. If for some reason classes were shortened that day, I would get hungry after 5 bells (or after that class) when in fact it was still just 10 am or something.

Secondly, just about every other young male's car has these party beads hanging from the rearview mirror, more in a college town. It seems like every male car in a college town has one or more of these beads hanging there, glittering uselessly. I don't quite get the reason behind that, other than to proclaim to the world like some raiment of accomplishment, that you've been to a college mardi gras themed party and drank. Big whoop. (Josh, you are excepted from this rant because yours actually came from mardi gras, and came from a girl that made it into a neat little star-type design, so that's cool.)

As you can see from my brackets on the right (not quite up to date yet), my year was WAY off on picking the games.

Ok, it was not really THAT far off actually. Maryland/UConn was an easy pick, and I even got So. Illinois. Not one game in that region was unexpected or unforeseeable. In the South, everything was also predictable, from Pitt's run to Kent St making the elite 8. The biggest blow was a VERY unforeseeable Indiana upset of Duke. Ouch! That sunk me right there... Out West, basically UCLA, Missouri, Oklahoma, and Arizona were the powers, along with a bunch of possibles. Quite honestly though, nothing there is surprising at all, even Gonzaga's upset loss to Wyoming was not entirely unpredicted. The Midwest was just the region where I went to town picking things that I felt would not happen, the kind of picks that win brackets if you get them right. I went on a big limb picking Florida to move on despite their terrible season end and an SEC conference that was up and down, and in picking Pepperdine. Oregon/Kansas was etremely predictable though, and not surprising.

So other than Duke being beaten, my analysis of the brackets was not wrong at all (I could see every other upset, although Creighton over Florida was a surprise I guess), but in the end, it was just a tough year. :)

I'm taking a minor break from reading through visual basic at work, and updating this quick. I'm here, and my phone just got turned on today at home, so I'll be back updating this regularly once I get my dialup information.

Dialup...that's obviously thrilling. Right...heh

I was driving my temporary long commute to work today, all tussied up in my shirt and tie and feeling rather great. I took some pictures of the interesting thick fog on the way, and was having quite the energetic time...unti my car started to do weird things. So weird in fact, that I turned around and managed to limp my way home. Not a good way to start out the week, needless to say

Well, tonight is the night before my new job. Unfortunately I have to drive 2 hours to get there for the first couple of days due to my moving into an apartment that I wanted that wasn't open til now (actually I get beat to the other open one, though I don't know how since I faxed everything). But a 2 hour drive is not a big deal for just a couple days.

And tonight, the night before the job has me sitting here, sort of fidgety, sort of anxious, and sort of excited. Looking for something else to pack into my bag, a different article of clothing to wear, another piece of research to wade through, and all those wonderful things that run through the mind when waiting for something you know is coming up. I think it's the sort of feeling where you know you're prepared and ready, but just have to wait....

While watching the NCAA basketball games, another thought came to mind as me and my friends sat through another 15 seconds of game and 30 seconds of commercials. Why doesn't the NCAA or the broadcaster just decide to not have large time-filling commercials and instead just have banner ads?

We all know webpages and banner ads have long coexisted together, but why not have banner ads along the bottom or top of the television screen, and maybe have sound bytes or the announcers make some spiel about the product?

It may be proven not to be as effective as the commercials we all love to hate now, but I think it would be an idea worth thinking about, especially for coverage of things like the Final Four tournament.

1. What's your favorite animal? I would have to say I love felines of almost any persuasion (except the hairless). They are just beautiful, graceful, and in the large cat families, powerful and aweinspiring. For a pet, they fit my personality a heck of a lot more than anything else.

2. What pets have you had in your lifetime? My mom and step-dad have a Miniature Schnauzer named Fritz right now that they got just before I went to college I think. I would also consider my grandparent's outdoor farm cats as pets of mine, since I loved them and they loved me (mostly). I also have a few memories of fish very early in my life, but they didn't last very long for reasons I don't think I ever knew.

3. Is there any specific pet that you've wanted but never had? Why? Oh, easily a cat or two of my own. I enjoyed those farm cats so much, they love you, they're fun to pet, graceful, not noisy, curious, entertaining, and just plain soothing as heck.

4. Are you allergic to any animals? Nope, but my step-dad is allergic to cats, hence no cats for me previously. I'll be getting one in the next few years though, once I move into a pets-allowed apartment.

5. Do you have any 'pet' pet peeves (your pets or others')? Well, I must admit any decent sized dog that sniffs at your crotch is very annoying and embarassing, even if they do it to everyone they meet the first time. Small dogs barking would be my only other peeve.

Today is like one of those days that I wish I could package and open at any time I want. It feels like mid autumn, or early spring. The sun is shining in a pale blue sky, not too bright that one squints when walking from a dark apartment building. Clouds dot the sky, small fluffy ones, and very intermittent. The wind blows firmly but not much more then a brush on the skin, tussling of the hair, and waving of clothing. It is 35 degrees out, but in the sun, I could easily be comfortable in jeans and a t-shirt, the wind adding nearly nothing to the wind chill, in fact, probably increasing the feeling of moving air on the skin. Everything is quiet, like winter air, and whatever sound there is seems amplified, crisp, clear, even from a distance.

I love days like this, and I wish I could have them every day. I'd take a picture, but I would constantly know that the picture is not enough, and would only leave me yearning.

Ahh, just a note to self not to overuse my web page as a political soapbox. I really do hate politics as too much ass wiping, baby-kissing, and taking advantage of an otherwise largely ignorant and impressionable public.

Front page from CNN.com:

"President Bush had tough talk in a Wednesday news conference for Saddam Hussein, Osama bin Laden and anyone who might threaten the U.S. The president said he would not rule out nuclear weapons to defend the country. 'We've got all options on the table,' Bush said."

There is only one good thing about this president: he won't be re-elected. Despite terrorism, despite Israel-Palestine issues, despite everything that has gone on so far, I have never really been too emotionally affected. But after reading that above statement this is the first time I have truly felt scared at what could easily happen. I don't like that. I don't care if we do have to go to war with someone. Nuclear weapons, even the threat of them, is unacceptable from our president. I guess I was not scared of it previously, because I never thought we'd have a president so stupid and feeble-minded, to have entertained those thoughts out loud. I didn't vote for him, but I have supported and accepted him as a president, but this is too much.

Here is some more:

"But Bush criticized Israel for its military reaction to terrorist attacks.

'Frankly, it's not helpful what the Israelis have recently done in order to create conditions for peace. I understand someone trying to defend themselves and to fight terror, but the recent actions aren't helpful.' "

Any sophmoric mind can find the duplicity in this statement. We were attacked and we defended ourselves by launching a military attack inside Afghanistan. Our goal to was to create peace. Now, going beyond that, we could ask the question, "who are we to determine what military action is right and condonable?" Israel may just want the same things we did, to invade, eradicate, and then create peace. Wonderful logic. What is the only reason we could go in and Israel can not? We were able to mop up everything quickly and anyone who gets in our way we can bully and leverage out to agree.

This time of year is marked by warming temperatures, more rain than snow (at least around here, and only usually), preparations for spring to erupt...and of course MARCH MADNESS!!!! I have my brackets all filled out, although I am completely unsure of the games this year. The brackets are both nicely drawn and badly drawn and there is a lot of mediocrity in the leagues. I do pride myself in either picking the upsets, or foreseeing where the upsets will be occurring, so, hopefully I can offer some insight. I usually pick the winner or runner up as well, but what always does me in is that oddball 1 or 2 final four team that limps out of a regional.

"I guarantee nothing."

Saw Slackers tonight, and about died laughing. I looked on movies.com, a site that compiles reviews of the top national critics and it had 18 negative reviews with 0 positive reviews on this movie. I swear, critics can be so stuck up sometimes. This movie, while lacking any believable plot, was still hilarious and surreal and dry in just the right doses. Josh asked me if it's up there with American Pie 2, and I must say this one is more solidly acted, funnier, and more to my style by just a hair. I loved it, and plan to buy it.

I was watching Time Machine tonight and one scene got me thinking for just a moment. The scene involved fast forwarding through time and watching a bustling metropolis spring up, then morph into this futuristic city complete with modern buildings, skyscrapers, the works. And it occurred to me, how often do skyscrapers get replaced with all these modern buildings seen in the movie? I know in towns I've been in, buildings don't just go up and then get torn down to upgrade.

Then it hit me. Not to demean or disrespect anything dealing with the WTC attack, but if one wants to look on the bright side (if you can call it that), this is an excellent opportunity to give the WTC site (and the WTC towers) a modern upgrade. Just my thought of the evening...

What makes you homesick? Actually, I do not really recall ever being homesick. I've seen people homesick, at airports, at huge camporee things, and at college. Despite going to Europe, camping for a week with people I don't know, traveling alone to Dallas to meet people I don't know, or staying away for extended periods of time with a lot of uncertainty over my head has never really made me homesick. Maybe I just have not ever seen the use in being homesick?

Where is "home" for you? Home now is Ames, IA in my apartment, but that will soon be changing. My permanent home is Sioux City where I was born and my parents live.

What makes it home for you? People? Things? I guess for my home where my parents are, it's home because the town is where I was born. Of course, where my parents are will always be home as well. For my actual own home, if I sleep there, it's home to me. But now that I think about it, I guess home would be a place I can trust with my belongings, my self, sleep, and shower.

Where is the furthest you've been from home, miles-wise? That would easily have been when I was in Europe in high school. We got as far away as Lausanne, but I could only look up the distance from home to Geneva, Switzerland: 4697 miles.

What are your plans for this weekend? None so far, I think.

What am I looking forward to the most in my new job? I could love the new people, the new apartment all to myself, the growing financial freedom, all sorts of things. But I think I do know what I will be most happy for, and what I am looking forward to most.

Working out again.

I have gone through a slightly self-imposed exile from the gym, planned to last until I got a job and got my life back in order. Course, I wanted a real gym and those take money, so my lack of funds did not help.

But everytime I dress for bed, or take a shower, or see a mirror, I am reminded that right now I am the most slovenly I have been in my life, the largest, and probably weigh the most. I dislike it, nay, I hate it and I so dearly miss the hour or two in a gym that I used to spend in the latter half of my college life. I cannot wait to get back, and I plan to do so with a vengeance that hopefully will last the rest of my long life.

Last night went with Janae, Janet, and Brian to We Were Soldiers. Umm, it was bloody, but it had good writing, and was really good otherwise. Did I mention it was *really* bloody? I totally forgot that Greg Kinnear (As Good As It Gets) was in this movie, but, as always, he was awesome. Oh, it was really bloody too.

Logic Mazes is a nice site with some challenging logic mazes to try out. I tried an advanced minotaur puzzle and put the solution up in graphic form (edit: deleted). It took me about 45 minutes, and I was a bit surprised I solved it.

Again, a day late, but better than never.

1. What's your favorite vacation spot?
Oh gosh, I do not have one yet. To me a vacation is about relaxing, no schedules, siteseeing is for 30 year olds. I just want to have fun and relax on vacations, do new things. But for favorites, Chicago or west coast would be fun I guess. I can answer this better in 5 years I think. :)

2. Where do you consider to be the biggest hell-hole on earth?
Probably someplay boring, politically dangerous like a warzone, and with 100% humidity and high heat with lots of bugs.

3. What would be your dream vacation?
Just being able to relax and have a good time for an entire week, preferably with a loved one, alone, or with a small group of friends.

4. If you could go on a road-trip with anyone, who would it be and why?
I would pick three people, which would fill a car comfortably. Chad, Josh, and Erik. That mix would be great! The humor would be excellent, plus they all know how to party, and have a great intelligent time.

5. What are your plans for this weekend
Right now, saturday was spent doing contract work for the SegaNet, and Sunday will be spent doing some web page work for Jamie hopefully, checking out some apartment listings for my move, and then heading to a cheap movie with Josh. Oh, and I will finish up some more contract work.

I went to see Mulholland Drive for a second time this evening. The first time I went to the movie, somehow I was late by about 5 minutes. I did not even know if I was in the right theater either, for how weird the movie was, for another 5 minutes; in other words I didn't pay close attention. Either way, this movie was a wild, wild, trippy ride! Extremely confusing, extremely disjointed, and extremely cliched and flatly acted...at first glance.

I came away from that first showing with the firm belief that the movie is about a dream. Upon watching the movie a second time, and catching the beginning as well as being able to recognize all the recycling of thoughts, lines, situations, items, and people, I can finally confirm my thoughts and flesh them out more. So here is my take on Mulholland Drive.

First of all, all movies should have some sort of plot line, and I do believe there is a plot in this movie, although I may be a little off in defining it. To me, this girl (Betty/Diane) wins a jitterbug contest at some point in her young life. This opens a desire, a dream to become an actress. She somehow travels to Los Angeles and moves in with her aunt. She lands an audition for a movie, but ends up losing out on the part, her first, to another actress, Camilla. Her aunt then dies, leaving her some money which allows her to move into seclusion in another apartment complex. She winds up becoming obessive about Camilla, to an extreme, mostly due to the fact that she has hidden lesbian tendencies. She begins with simple fantasies, more than likely played out in her dreams, but eventually they turn into full-fledged waking delusions. This increasingly ill girl begins losing grip on reality as she switches apartments with a neighbor and becomes bored with her boyfriend (whom she dreams as a hitman). But, in the end, the mental illness, or dream, leaves her with a bullet to the head.

When watching this overly long movie, that's not the plotline that will jump right out at anyone. But it is what has slowly ebbed its way into my head after two viewings of the film. There are really two parts to the film content: plot (reality) and everything else (nonreality).

Having dealt with the plot, I can now deal with the nonreal part of the film. I briefly glanced over an interview of the director, David Lynch, after first viewing the film (I have not read a full review or synopsis yet though), and he mentioned that he was going for a film that depicted the way things felt, rather than how they are. The biggest example of this may be the audition that Betty attends where she does marvelously. In her own mind, she probably perceives that she performed brilliantly, when in fact she was just average. We probably all have our own little delusions of ourselves being better than we, in reality were, at one time or another.

But I truly think it goes beyond just the feeling of the moments. I honestly believe that this film is largely played in a dream land, and not one of mental illness, totally.

First, there are many recurring people, scenes, items, and thoughts. Koko plays two parts, the landlady and the mother of the director. Camilla plays two parts, one as an amnesiac and another as the object of scorn. When Camilla has her accident, the situation is identical to a later scene with Betty (now Diane) riding in a car as well. The blue key, the piano ashtray, Cookie the hotel manager and later emcee, the purse full of money, and many others are all recycled through this dream world. When I dream, there tends to be numerous people from my waking life that suddenly take up parts in my dreams, and later other parts, items, places, words. They can be dreamt dozens of times all in different ways before finally being discarded by my subconscious.

Secondly, I know sometimes when I dream, particularly around the morning when I can remember my dreams, begin to grow conscious of them, the dreams can be extremely weird, downright absurd. I have no control over the dreams yet, but I know and can "watch" them happen. But in the dream, even though events and speaking and situations are increasingly wrong, they seem perfectly normal. If something odd happens, our dream characters and even our consciousness think nothing of it and things proceed onward. Then we wake up a little more, realize our dreams, and think, "what the hell is going on in that dream??" There are moments of this sort in the movie.

Thirdly, Characters in dream worlds tend to speak in cliches, speak blandly, and basically rehash simplistic dialogue, if any. Scenes that are meant to be played one way, as we had planned, suddenly play another way, and even if somewhere in the back of our minds, we say, "this isn't what I wanted," it still plays out regardless, like we have no control over it. In addition to just being cliche and bland, the characters and situations themselves can be grossly exaggerated, such as the black veiled production bigwhig with the microphone and weird chair.

Lastly, dreams are the manifestations of our emotions, desires, fears, needs, hates. When I have a crush on someone, they tend to play a couple parts in various dreams I have, generally playing out some fantasy. Sometimes though, they are an object of scorn, if I myself have been scorned by them. I may make rationalizations about why they did so, or even wish ill on them. The same goes for someone I hate, or someone from my recent past, such as an interviewer for a job. They can play various roles, and our emotions towards them tend to be magnified in their role in the dream. Someone who wronged us on the subway by a minor bump, is suddenly a deadly antagonist hell-bent on assassinating us on the way home from work. That sort of thing.

I think Betty goes through all of this. She has a downright cliched dialogue, and a high school boy's dream fantasy lesbian scene where everything goes perfectly; and we as viewers know exactly what will come next: it all fits just too well...too well for reality. In fact, both lesbian scenes are straight out of anyone's fantasies. She has the hatred of a director where she dreams how his wife is sleeping around on him. She has a rationalization of why she did not get the part she thought she acted so well for. She rationalizes that it was this big conspiracy to make sure that Camilla had the part, although some faces are switched around. She also has a very convenient encounter with a beautiful, seductive amnesia patient. Guys, don't tell me that one has not happened in our dreams!

Betty goes from simple cliched dialogue, fantasy meetings, and delusional performances into the more confusing dreams where things just sort of happen. The blue box appears, the Cowboy appears, she steals out into the night to watch a rather unearthly performance, and suddenly the dreams all change focus and players change roles. She has gone from innocent dreams, to the kinds of dreams we know about, that are weird but we have no control over, to downright destructive loss of reality.

In addition, the beginning shows a camera panning over a bed, and sinking into a pillow, helping to further my belief in my dream theories.

Anyway, it is getting late, and my thoughts are disppearing, sort of like trying to capture tendrils of cigarette smoke as it rises and begins to dissipate.

In short, this movie is an excellent one with a plotline that is encased in a dream world which turns into real illness. And no, she never did know Camilla or the director.